Member Profile:

Ashley Hambrook

“After surviving a horrific hair combing accident after leaving school, I sought refuge in a nunnery finding inner peace after being brought up on a diet of Scandinavian beaver cheese. I became disgruntled with my chosen deity after it would not grant me immortality. I therefore joined the RAF Police and became a paid security guard, travelling the world to such exotic places such as Suffolk, York and finally Lincolnshire (where I have now purchased an abode). Other less glamorous locations in my 12 and a half year stint were Sardinia, Saudi Arabia, Germany and Italy. After the Government realised that they could save money by reducing the RAF Police's numbers and replacing them with cheaper a workforce by employing simians, I left and escaped to the Los Angeles underground where I survived as a soldier of fortune. The sun, smog and annoying people eventually ground me down and I moved back to Lincolnshire, where I now work as an ICT Technician. With all my new computerised logic I decided that I needed to get in touch with my creative side, so I decided to join a talented bunch of rouges known as The Lindsey Rural Players at The Broadbent Theatre. I also make an attempt to keep fit by pushing a replica inflated pig’s bladder over a volleyball net for a local league team. Amalgamating all these skills can only help me towards my final goal… Emperor of Earth.

So I will continue with this cunning plan until my campaign for global domination comes to fruition. I will end now in the best tradition of megalomaniacs around the world...

MUUUUHHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!”